A Shot of Vodka and ¡Voila!

... maybe a few more steps ...

Yesterday I implied that the $0 solution to clothing that needs to be dry cleaned is to spray vodka onto clothing.

That’s not really true.

1. Cheap vodka is cheap vodka; not free vodka. You do have to count the $10 for the handle of Taaka if you don’t have some hanging around.

2. Spray bottles aren’t free either. I will never suggest purchasing a spray bottle. In fact, I will call up your neighbors and ask them to put all of their almost empty spray bottles on your front stoop to stop you from spending money on a spray bottle…. so that does count as free, still.

3. The alcohol cuts down the erosive effects of the dead skin cells, sweat, oil, dirt, and acid - but it doesn’t fully remove all of that from the fabric … which does have to happen eventually.

4. Dry Cleaning includes restoring the shape of the clothing. Spraying a liquid, even if it is vodka and it evaporates, will have wilting effects on that fabric.

If you don’t have the $ for dry cleaning (then don’t spend $5+ on a spray bottle, please); you have to make the vodka work well. There are some steps involved in getting the best out of your (spray) bottle of vodka.

I am putting these details below a paywall because,

1. Paying $5 to tell me I am wrong in the comments seems just.

2. Paying $5 to tell me that I have offended you makes a lot of sense to me.

3. Paying $5 to tell me that I am so so right also seems fair because … all of that rightness is worth at least $5.