I'll take Base Layers

for $2,500 please, Alex

If you are allowed a single 1-hour fitting before rehearsals start, what should you fit?

1. The pattern for a dress that will have 12 hand-sewn layers of tulle?

   

   Too fluffy and voluminous to fit into the sewing machine - so it all has to be stitched into the waistband by hand, on the dressform.

2. The jacket that has many of hours of embroidery waiting to be done?

   

   what last minute adjustment is this one?

3. OOoo! My front runner would have to be the mask that will inevitably interfere with the microphone and be a nightmare during technical rehearsals. Should we fit that way ahead of time?

   

   all of the above are Alexander McQueen pieces….even this one?

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All of the above … would be wonderful. But! they are not the right answer.

The answer and the rest of this essay is behind a paywall; because,

1. Some humans hate hearing about underwear. If you are one of those delicate flowers, perhaps you should excuse yourself now.

2. Some humans like to imagine that actors were born into the shape and sheen that we see them in. If you are one of those oblivious believers, shield your eyes.

3. Some humans know that good undergarments are both pricey and priceless. If you are one of the wise, you would be happy to pay for the following discussion. Subscribe and read on.