The Wife of Willesden

or, Boy Did I Dodge a Bullet!

First things first.

What a great show!

The topic of this post will not be: Should you go see it? Everyone should see it. The lead needs a sitcom or a Simpsons character. I wish I could tune in next week! She was in every minute of that 2 hour show - and she made every moment work. Clare Perkins is a hoot.

The question I will be asking (pretty much every time I write) is: Who should you see it with?

This was a school matinee without any school groups. So, the audience was about half full? Two-thirds? I was kicking myself for not trying harder to get my son’s school there.

The show is based on Chaucer’s wife of Bath, a show I read in 10th grade. Mrs.Bush, the literature half of sophomore Humanities, did love to slow-sashay while she read aloud her favorite lines of the books she chose. 20 years later, her Wife of Bath slow-sashay is the only one I can remember. That was an orange sweater, orange heels, orange earrings (orange hair) outfit day. As opposed to a hot pink sweater, hot pink heels, hot pink earrings (orange hair) day. Everyday was a black eyeliner, black skirt day. Were the tights black or colored to match? Please remind me in the comments. To that day’s sashay she added a giddy prance, happy T-Rex arms and her laugh. Have you recently gotten to watch a kid laugh with a mouth full of ice cream (mouth-closed, I hope)? That’s what her laugh looked like - all of the joys, all at once. There was a joy of possessing a secret in there, too. Like her mouth was full because she stuffed it full of your ice cream while you weren’t looking.

I see you, Mrs.Bush. I get it now.

Bawdy! Explicit! Wow! Am I glad I didn’t encourage my son’s school to bring a group of high schoolers!

Let’s see if you can guess which lewd gestures she let fly. Please scan your head for at least five good ones. No need to put them in the comments, just keep them to yourself and chuckle (mouth-closed, full of ice cream) Mrs.Bush-style.

Okay. I will now tell you which ones….All of them! You definitely got all of them correct. One per three minutes of stage time - so, yep, all the gestures, all the blue jokes, all the innuendos followed by all the explicit descriptions of said innuendos.

I took this picture because I was considering whether my 12 year-old would want to sit onstage. Those bar tables and the bench are for audience members. The only ones left for less than $140, the only ones available for students.

Please now call to mind the clearest (fully clothed) depiction of your favorite “wifely duty". That one happened, too. Now imagine it happening in the middle of this stage, and put a 12 year-old on that bar bench.

That would be decidedly unkind to the actors.

All that being said, I am sad my kid will not see this show. Would I send him alone? To sit in the back, having his world rocked and shattered all by himself. Guffawing without his parents around? Trying out those gestures to bring back to his middle school cronies. Hmm…. I am going to ponder that one. Those seats are still available for Saturday.

I have almost recovered from the horror of thinking of my son’s teachers sitting next to their students in the back of that theater. Would you please think through any raunchy live performances you have seen, and then tell me if there is anyone in your life or work that you can imagine sitting next to? happily? comfortably?