the worst woman in the world

... the character based on ... me?

I have a people. The hair, makeup, costumes, props and some set and lights humans are my tribe, if you will. We are a motley crew. So, when I say that I have a lot in common with Ruby Romaine, the makeup artist character Tracey Ullman created, you might be kind to me and say, “No!”

because, Ruby Romaine is the worst woman in the world.

She is based on a real person, or two, or three, that Tracey Ullman met in Hollywood. She named her Ruby Romaine and dubbed her The worst woman in the world.

The name and clothing she wears as the character are mostly drawn from Woody Allen’s makeup artist, Romaine Greene.

hmmm…that is a fairly demure photo. I couldn’t find any more photos online. If you told me that Ruby Romaine was based on this woman, I might start to think of the other photos of women from my tribe that I have come across in my 1950’s Hollywood research. Like,

All pretty demure, no? I would take the black sweater on the Romaine Greene and the black sweater on the woman on the right - and say done! Get a button-up short sleeved blouse like the woman on the left and that woman in the middle and declare - perfect! Take the cat-eye glasses instead of the big ones on Romaine Greene, because they both have the same vibe, just different time periods. And, finally, get that bottle blond/platinum color on the woman on the left. Watch, earrings, necklace - finito!

---

But! with the absence of color photos, and the availability of so many colorful clothes, Tracey Ullman has recreated this character for us, from tip to tail many times over.

And, she is not demure.

I’m putting the rest of the essay below a paywall … so I can say whatever I want … if you want to hold the following against me you have to buy me half a sandwich for $5.